Praise Xenu: Aliens are A-OK!

The Vatican's Chief Astronomer announced Tuesday that a belief in extra-terrestrial life does not conflict with a belief in God. Neither does a belief in Santa Claus, unicorns or a black Michael Jackson. The church made the call in hopes of distracting one kind of anal probing for another.

An unfortunate mistake

WNBC news anchor Sue Simmons recently dropped the F-bomb while filming a live-to-air promo. This clip speaks volumes.

And a Side Notes...

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/politics/2008/05/14/moos.googler.in.chief.cnn

Republican Power

From Gawker and the Huffington Post, here we see O'Reilly's softer side.

Gay + Rap = Gap

In explosive new memoirs to be released this week, Terrance Dean will shed light on the gay subculture allegedly thriving in hip hop's notoriously macho community. Dean, a former MTV executive and openly gay man, hopes that coming forth with his own experiences will encourage other gay industry insiders to come out of the closet. He said the pervasiveness of homophobia in rap lyrics is not only wrong, but it defies the party roots of the music.

So, given the release of his book it is predicted that the homophobic veneer of the rap game may soon be tarnished. While not mentioning actual names, Dean alludes to mainstream rap artists who, despite appearing hard in public, are actually equally hard in private (what a pun). The industry is in an uproar prior to its release...who on earth will come out next?

So here's some fun for you...who in the rap industry do you think is gay? Your choices:

Eminem (Public Relations stunts aren't always successful)


Lil Wayne (what the fuck?)


P Diddy (or whatever his current name is)


Kanye West (remember the uproar over the desperate housewives neighbours)


Let us know your thoughts. But really, after looking at these pictures are you actually surprised? Honestly.

Someone finally bought the cow

First daughter and former wild child, Jenna Bush, is getting married tomorrow at the Bush's ranch in Crawford, Texas. Jenna will become Mrs. Henry Hager - the wife of an MBA student and former Commerce Department staff member. Oscar de la Renta designed and donated the wedding dress that will inevitably be covered in booze and vomit by nights end.

Jenna's twin sister will be her maid of honor while her bridesmaids will consist of 14 of her closest friends, most likely southern sisters from her days as a slutty, boozy longhorn. On a related note, Time magazine named the presidential wedding as one of the easiest places to get laid in the world.

Avert Your Eyes!

Want to meet Stone Phillips and be put on a covert FBI watch list? Click HERE

The Austrian Watergate...

Josef Fritzl, recently taken into custody for keeping his daughter and the seven children he grandfathered with her in a dungeon for over two decades, shot back at the media Wednesday, saying "I am not a monster." His explanation was twofold. First, of course, the media is biased against him. Secondly, he didn't have to take his 19 year-old, chronically ill (grand)daughter to the hospital. Instead, if he were a worse man, he could have simply killed the whole family. "Without me," Fritzl said, "Kerstin would not still be alive today."

Maybe that black heart did have some sympathy to it after all. But, then again, remember the last time liberal bias and a "I am not a..." speech were the first line of defence...

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

PINK FISH TACOS via Porn Bread

½ Cup sour cream

½ Cup mayonnaise

1 Tbsp. Taco sauce

Red Food Colouring

1 pound cod, sole or white fish fillets

2 Tbsp. Olive oil

2 Tbsp. Lemon juice

2 Cups finely shredded red cabbage

Plus 2 whole cabbage leaves per taco

Cherry tomatoes

Lemon wedges

Taco Shells

Read more here (and check out their other recipes)

If Only Buzz Hargrove Were This Funny...

I've watched this so many times...did he really mean to say that?

Penguin 'Phoque'ing

A frustrated (aren't they all), sexually inexperienced young male seal was caught trying to have sex with a king penguin. The R-Kelly styled bump n' grind took place over 45 mins on Marion Island in the Antarctic, and was filmed by South African scientists.

The 100kg seal vanquished the 15kg penguin by laying on it. The penguin flapped its flippers in an attempt to escape but was unable to break free.

At first glance, the scientists originally thought the seal was killing the penguin but soon then realized the seal was just getting nasty.

The seal eventually gave up the effort after 45 minutes of thrusting. The scientists report the seal then jumped into the water (without leaving cab fare), completely ignoring the penguin it had just violated.

Read more at BBC

Come See What She Couldn't!

Two billboards near Montgomery, Alabama have been creating quite a stir with what some community members see as inappropriate advertising. The ads, in an effort to bring tourists to the inspirational woman's birthplace of Shoals, proclaim "see, what she couldn't." This was in reference to Keller being born both blind and deaf.

It seems the merit of witty marketing was lost in the haze created by mixing a stiff hick cocktail of illiteracy, religious fervour and incest.