Someone finally bought the cow

First daughter and former wild child, Jenna Bush, is getting married tomorrow at the Bush's ranch in Crawford, Texas. Jenna will become Mrs. Henry Hager - the wife of an MBA student and former Commerce Department staff member. Oscar de la Renta designed and donated the wedding dress that will inevitably be covered in booze and vomit by nights end.

Jenna's twin sister will be her maid of honor while her bridesmaids will consist of 14 of her closest friends, most likely southern sisters from her days as a slutty, boozy longhorn. On a related note, Time magazine named the presidential wedding as one of the easiest places to get laid in the world.