Thursday, April 3, 2008

Hold My Hand for the Sax Solo Hunny...

Yesterday, Bill Clinton was out hard on the hustings, speaking to eager Indiana University students on the virtues of his wife's presidential campaign. Prior to his appearance, long lines had formed in hopes of hearing the Democratic icon speak.

Never to be outdone, this is when the Obama campaign made their decisive move...

Staffers quickly announced that they would be giving away free tickets to Sunday's local Dave Matthews concert. Given the popularity of the 90's alt-rock band, Obama's Bloomington headquarters were immediately inundated with requests. The ensuing lineups pulled many students from the Clinton cue, leaving Bill's draw diminished.

Now, here's a recommendation, a remedy the Clinton campaign should have employed if they were nimble and understanding of their audience. Simply open the war chest and spend the necessary amount to reconvene Hootie and the Blowfish. From there, all they would need is some bad weed, beer bongs and faded khakis to get those turncoats back on-side.

Instead, next month at the polls, lovesick couples will look longingly into each other's eyes, vowing to disregard the "dreams of our fathers" and vote for a hip black man.

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